Carmen Sandoval

Carmen's reaction to current world events:

1. The War in Iraq: "How does it affect house prices?"
2. Global Warming: "How does it affect house prices?"
3. High School Shootings: "How does it affect house prices?"
4. Illegal immigration: "How does it affect house prices?"
5. Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan retires: (inconsolable)

A recent conversation between Carmen and a blog commenter on Casey Serin's I am Facing Foreclosure blog:

#1 - Blog comment by Carmen (made to blog owner, Casey Serin)

HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY PROFESSION!!!

Realtors have been around since the dawn of time. In every ancient tale of creation, there are stories of realtors being created before average men, because someone had to sell them the land to farm.

It’s true. In the middle ages, we sold castles with moat upgrades and helped serfs get into starter farms. Without farms, no one would have survived the black plague. That’s right, realtors actually stopped the black plague. And don’t you forget about it.

Watch out when you’re in Phoenix, because I read in Realtor Monthly Magazine that your “no-realtor-flipping-transactions” are actually illegal. Check the books. Only realtor-negotiated transactions in the state of Arizona. It’s a fact. That’s why Phoenix is growing so quickly. It’s posted the highest rate of growth since the years following the Louisiana Purchase.

If you’re not careful, you could get yourself on the Nation Realtor’s blacklist.

Sincerely,

Carmen Sandoval
Realtor to those Flipper Nation guys

#2 - Response from anonymous commenter (not the blog owner!)

Carmen Sandoval -

Realtors are paid obscene commissions for very little work. They function as middle men. They follow rigid standard procedure so much that they do not add have the same level of “value added services” that they did in years prior when the real estate market was more “normal” (1980) and houses were harder to sell. Realtors always work against the buyers best interests.

Realtors in CA (and other states) are making 6% (average) commissions on 500k and 1000k houses. That’s 30 - 60k cash in your pocket for BS’ing, giving a home tour, and processing paperwork. With the resources provided today I don’t need you.

I really hope it becomes a free liquid market with internet broker providers competing against each other driving down prices. Where sellers and buyers can hire their own appraisers and perform there own transactions. Then just use your license to process the paper for a processing fee. And be glad, you don’t even deserve that much.

Most Realtors I’ve known are not even college educated. But they excel at using their mouth:

“In the middle ages, we sold castles with moat upgrades and helped serfs get into starter farms.”

This does not even deserve a reply. It’s ridiculas. First look up the definition of a serf. Farms were owned by dukes, lords and kings. What a bunch of BS. But certainly more so with the following comment:

“Without farms, no one would have survived the black plague. That’s right; realtors actually stopped the black plague.”

Wow. Just when you thought you heard it all. I guess lying all day takes its toll after a while huh? Historians are split. The plague burned itself out. However cats played a big role since mice and rats were the primary culprit. It was noticed that the majority of people who had cats (as pets) didn’t get sick.

“If you’re not careful, you could get yourself on the Nation Realtor’s blacklist.”

Does this comment deserve a reply? No. But allow me to explain this to you in laymans terms. We don’t need Realtors anymore. You’re obsolete. You’re in the way. You’re paid too much money. We don’t want you. We don’t need you.
Your “profession” has outlived its usefulness.

Give me internet access and connect me directly to the buyers and sellers. And if your nice I’ll give you a processing fee.

#3 - Carmen's swift and just response

Dear “Mr. to remain anonymous,”

How dare you insult me. You used my own words against me. That’s it. You’re blacklisted. No real estate agent will ever let you buy or sell a house again.

But you might say that you don’t care if you’re blacklisted. You will never use a realtor. Well, we have a plan for people like you.

If you try to buy a house, we will use our collective international powers of persuasion to prevent it from happening. We are very important, and we have very important friends. Like the IRS. That’s right, IRS, baby. Who do you think sold them their headquarters building in Washington, D.C.? That’s right, realtors.

Also, we are best friends with Steve Case, Steve Jobs, and Al Gore, the three people who run the internet. We just called them and your internet service is about to be cut off. How will you buy a house without access to Zillow?

Have a nice day,

Carmen Sandoval
Realtor extraordinaire for all flipping projects

PS - I lied. We won’t fully cut off your internet. You will still have access to a dictionary service, as it seems you need to brush up on your spelling. I mean come on. “Ridiculas?” Reallly? Like “jolly old saint ridiculas?”